


Letting Go

by undapperthought



Category: Glee
Genre: Diapers, Eating Disorders, Infantilism, M/M, Watersports
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-14
Updated: 2013-10-14
Packaged: 2017-12-29 10:32:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 9,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1004359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/undapperthought/pseuds/undapperthought
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finn tries to be a better brother to Kurt. He gets his chance when their parents go out of town for the weekend.</p>
<p>Kurt is in a situation he cannot control, and doesn't initially want, even though he comes around, so warning for partial, non-sexual, non-con.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Thursday

Kurt glanced at the clock on the wall above the door of his last class of the day. It seemed like every time he looked at the damned thing it would run backwards. Kurt thought it was broken, or that the battery had given up. Precisely like his poor bladder was about to. There were only a few minutes left before class was over, but he really had to go, and every second was pure misery.

Kurt like Dalton Academy. He enjoyed being a Warbler. He especially liked being around people who didn't constantly shove him into lockers or trip him on purpose or stain his clothes with cheap corn syrup and red dye #40. He even liked the homework assignments, to a certain degree. They were more challenging than the work at McKinley had ever been.

As much as he liked attending Dalton, it wasn't perfect. His classes were on opposite sides of the campus. He barely had enough time to get from one to the next, even at an almost jogging pace, so restroom visits between classes were out of the question. 

The teachers were strict. Short of someone actually fainting or bleeding, they never gave out hall passes. Their answer when anyone asked for one was always the same, 'Handle your personal affairs during your own time. You're on my time now.' After the first week, Kurt stopped asking.

He'd considered begging for one then though, except he know it wouldn't do him any good, and he didn't want to risk tripping over someone's book bag on the way up to the teacher's desk.

After his first couple of days, once he'd figured out where all of his classes were, he learned that the only time he'd have available to use the restroom was during lunch. It wasn't a big deal, since he had half an hour free then. He'd been skipping lunch anyways, using the time instead to catch up on classwork he'd missed due to his mid-semester transfer. Food didn't sit well with him if he was too stressed out, so he didn't mind.

That day, however, was different. Wes had insisted on an emergency Warblers meeting during lunch, saying it was urgent. Since they have English together right before, he didn't get a chance to duck into the restroom before he was being dragged into the practice room and thrown into an intense debate about Sectionals set lists.

It wasn't too big of an issue at the time. Kurt figured that if he just stopped drinking from his water bottle, he would be fine for the rest of the day. He was wrong. 

He would catch himself drinking and have to stop himself. It wasn't easy, because he liked to drink a lot of water during the day to stay hydrated and help keep his complexion clear, and it was sort of a go-to reflex if he was anxious or nervous about something. He'd considered pouring it out into one of the planters spread around campus, but that just made him think of flowing water, and made the urge to go stronger. Besides, if he could have found enough time to dump the bottle out, he'd have used that time to pee instead.

The dismissal bell finally rang and he was silently cursing Dalton, Wes, and all of the other Warblers under his breath. He was bursting at the seams, and still had a twenty minute bus ride to go. He carefully leaned over, scooped up his messenger bag, and rushed out the door. His bus was loading across campus. It was always the first to leave, and the driver waited for no one.

He was the last to arrive, and just barely made it on board before the doors closed. Most students either boarded or drove themselves to school, so he's one of only a handful of students inside. Thankfully, his house was the first stop. He tossed his messenger bag on an empty seat and sat down next to it. He crossed his legs as tightly as he could and wished for green lights and no traffic.

As the bus drove away from the school, Kurt pulled out a book he needed to read for English. He took a deep breath and opened to the first page. 

Ten minutes later, he was still on page three. He couldn't concentrate on anything but the throbbing between his hips, and how the waistband of his pants were cutting in to his abdomen, putting pressure on his distended bladder. He took a quick glance out of the corner of his eye to make sure no one was looking his way as he slipped his hand underneath his blazer to unbutton them. It was something he normally would NEVER do, but this was an emergency. It helped, if only a little bit. The pressure was still relentless, and his muscles were aching under the strain. He looked out the window and prayed to whatever imaginary being people pray to that the bus would reach his house soon.

Kurt gave up on trying to read and put the book back into his bag. He only took the bus so that he could save some money on gas since his dad and Carol made him pay for it himself. They said it 'builds character.' Kurt hadn't noticed this so-called 'character growth' yet, but the money he'd saved had grown his wardrobe extensively. He could suffer through a bit of pain for fashion. It wouldn't be the first time he's had to.

The bus ride sucked. Kurt could feel every little bump and jolt go through his entire body. It just made things worse for him. When the bus hit a large pothole that nearly knocked him out of his seat, he wasn't expecting it and almost lost control. He moved his bag onto his lap, hiding the fact that he had a death grip on his dick through his pants. It took several minutes before he was able to let go without wetting himself, but he somehow managed. 

Kurt pulled out his cell phone and looked at the time. Based on that and what he was seeing through the bus' grimy windows, relief was only a few minutes away. As he put his phone away, his bladder threatened to revolt, protesting the strain it was under. It fucking _hurt._ He couldn't stop the gasp that came out of his mouth, and crossed his legs even tighter. He was gripping the edges of the seat hard enough to turn his knuckles white and trying to breathe through it. Every muscle in his body was tense, and it was probably obvious to anyone who looked over that he was extremely desperate to pee and in pain. He closed his eyes and concentrated on keeping himself together and holding on. He'd never had to go so badly in his life, and quite frankly, he wasn't sure if he was going to make it the few yards up their driveway with his dignity intact.

He opened his eyes as his bladder relaxed a little bit, and saw his house come into view. He took a deep breath to center himself, zipped up his pants and his bag, and made ready to jump out of his seat as soon as the bus stopped moving. 

The bus rolled to a stop, and he was out the door before the driver even opened it all the way. He walked as fast as he could to the front door, hoping it wasn't locked. 

Kurt tried to move a bit faster, almost running, and made it halfway up the driveway when he felt himself start to leak a bit into his boxer-briefs. He had to stop and cross his legs for a moment to stop it, digging his keys out of his bag just in case. He had no time to spare, and he knew it. He scrambled the rest of the way up the drive, feeling himself losing control.

Kurt got to the front door and had to stop and cross his legs again for a few seconds to keep from soaking himself right then and there on the front porch in front of anyone who might be looking over. Once he was able to stand upright again, he threw the door open, thanking every imaginary deity he could think of that it's unlocked, and ran inside. He tossed his bag and keys to the floor and bolted past Finn up the stairs to the bathroom, struggling with the fly of his pants and getting wetter by the second as his bladder struggled to hold on.

He managed to make it to the toilet only a second or so after his bladder gave way completely. Sighing in relief, after hours of pain and anxiety, it was heaven to finally give in, to relax and let it all out.


	2. Chapter 2

Reality came crashing down around him, bringing embarrassment and shame with it. He's just pissed in his clothes like a toddler. It was only his uniform, not anything he cared about, but still. What the hell was wrong with him? He was a few months shy of his eighteenth birthday; more than old enough to control himself. He felt pathetic.

Kurt flushed and zipped himself back up, getting a good look at the front of his pants. There was no way he'd be able to lie about it; it was obvious he'd had an accident. Thankfully, it didn't trail too far down his legs. He draped his blazer over his arm in front of him like a shield. If he could get back to his room without running into anyone, he should be okay. He'd had accidents as a little kid, and he didn't want to run into his dad and have him think he was having them again. He opened the door and stepped out of the bathroom, only to run right into Finn, who was holding the messenger bag he'd tossed when he bolted through the door. 

“Dude, are you okay? I've never seen you move that fast before,” he asked, holding out Kurt's bag to him. He took it carefully, not letting his other hand move his blazer. They may be brothers now, but Finn was still a jock. Kurt still wasn't sure he trusted him completely. 

“Thanks. I'm fine. I just really needed to pee.” He moved past Finn as he answered him, feeling his face redden. Kurt didn't know how Finn couldn't smell the urine all over him. He was fairly soaked in it. His pants were getting cold and his skin itchy, and there was nothing he wanted more than a shower. A long, scalding hot shower. And a nap. The strain on his body for the past hours must have been catching up with him, because he was absolutely exhausted.

“Don't they have bathrooms at Dalton?” Finn asked, and Kurt rolled his eyes. He would laugh at him, except the tone of Finn's voice made Kurt think he was asking a serious question, not just making a joke.

“Yes, Finn, they do, but I don't get a chance to use them in between classes, and if I want to catch my bus, so that I don't have to call you and have you drive all the way out there to pick me up, I pretty much have to run for it from last period.” With that, Kurt goes into his room, closing the door behind him.

He tosses the blazer and bag onto the bed, unbuttoning his shirt and pulling it off. It didn't survive the assault; the bottom hem in the front was soaked. Kurt tossed it into an empty laundry basket, planning to throw his ruined clothes into the washer as soon as he get out of the shower. He walked over to his dresser, pulling out the pair of old sweatpants he usually wore when he wasn't feeling well and one of his dad's old t-shirts he normally wore when he worked down at the shop. He didn't even look to see if they matched. He felt dirty and the wetness on his skin was uncomfortably itchy. He wanted to shower and take a nap, hopefully for a few hours. He could worry about fashion then. Right then he wanted clean, comfortable, and dry. He tossed the clean clothes onto his bed and toed out of his loafers. Just as he unbuckled his belt, the door swung open, and Finn barged in.

“Dude, Mom called earlier and said she's gonna be late, and for us to order a pizza for dinner, so what do you want on it?” He looked up from the pizza menu in his hand to Kurt.

“Uh...dude...why are your pants wet?” He looked at Kurt for a minute, and he could almost see the gears in Finn's brain turning, connecting everything that had happened since Kurt got home. Finn's eyes went wide and he started to stutter. “I'm just gonna...go. I mean leave! Leave...yeah. Let me know when you want some pizza.” With that stunning display of communication skills, he backed out of Kurt's room, closing the door behind him.

It took a few minutes for Kurt to realize he was just standing and staring at the closed door. He wanted to cry, or scream, or hit Finn for barging in on him without knocking for the millionth time. Finn didn't know Kurt had accidents when he was younger, and he sure as hell didn't want him to know that he'd had one now. His mind was racing and he had to slap himself in the face to get a grip and calm down. He stripped the rest of his clothes off, wrapped a towel around his waist, and got into his en suite shower.

He soaped himself up quickly, scrubbing his skin with a hard loofah, until it was red and raw and pin pricks of blood were coming up in a few spots. He tried but couldn't scrub hard enough to make the feelings of disgust go away. He stood under the shower head, letting the hot water run over his body, and cried. He cried until his eyes were scratchy and the water was freezing. He'd hoped a shower would make things alright. It didn't.

Kurt went back to his room, dressed, and sprawled out on his bed. He was worn out, and fell asleep within seconds of his still-wet head hitting the pillow.

He felt a bit better when he woke up. He was still mortified to have had an accident at his age, but he's just happy it hadn't happened on the bus or in class, and that the only other person who knew was Finn. He got up, remembering his laundry basket of soiled clothes and carried them down to the washer in the basement. His stomach rumbled as he started the machine, reminding him that I hadn't eaten in a while.

Kurt went upstairs to the kitchen and washed his hands. There was a pizza box on the counter so he looked to see what Finn had ordered for them. Deep-dish pepperoni and sausage, extra grease. Needless to say, Kurt was not interested. 

He rummaged around in the fridge and the cabinets for a bit, coming up with an almost empty jar of peanut butter and some celery. He was sitting on the counter scraping the peanut butter out of the jar, using the celery like a spoon, when Finn walked in. Kurt did his best to not look at him, to just ignore him, but Finn wasn't having that.

“Are you okay, Kurt? Earlier. What happened?” he asked, and Kurt's impressed. He almost sounded like he actually cared. If he hadn't spent last year throwing Kurt into the dumpster behind the cafeteria everyday with Puck, he might have believed he did.

“Nothing happened. I don't know what you're talking about.” Kurt still wouldn't look at him, but he didn't leave either. “It's not like you give a shit about me anyways, so just drop the act, okay?” That last bit came out bitchier than he'd intended, and he cringed. Actually, he hadn't meant to say it at all. It sort of slipped out. No control. Seemed to be the theme of his day. Kurt didn't apologize. Even though he'd just woken up, he was still tired. Kurt's brain-to-mouth filter had to still be asleep.

“I'm sorry you think that. And maybe last year, yeah, you would have been right. Things change, Kurt. People change. I'm not the same person I was a year ago. I'd like to think I'm better than that. We may not be blood, but we're family now. And no matter what, family comes first. You're my brother, Kurt. I've got your back now, no matter what. I thought that meant I was your brother too.” Finn's voice cracked as he spoke, and Kurt glanced up at him. He looked hurt. Genuinely, honestly hurt, which only made him feel worse. “I guess I was wrong.” 

Finn turned to leave and Kurt doesn't know why, but he stops him. “You really want to know? Fine. I'll tell you.” So he does. Kurt can feel how red his face is the entire time, but he tells him everything. And Finn doesn't laugh at him. Not once. 

Kurt finished off his story and the peanut butter at the same time, yawning as hopped down from the counter. He opened the cabinet under the sink to toss the empty jar in the bin and when he stood up, Finn was hugging him. Kurt froze for a minute, waiting for Finn to do whatever it was that he was going to do, to run Kurt's head under the faucet or something, but it was just a hug. Once Kurt figured out that Finn isn't trying to mess with him, he relaxed into it, and it actually felt nice. People don't hug Kurt often. They're afraid of him, like gay was contagious or something. They only touched to hurt.

Finn pulled away when Kurt yawned again. “Go back to bed. You need it. I'll keep the volume down.” Kurt nodded and thanked him as he headed back to his room. He spends the rest of the afternoon curled up in bed, reading his book for English, until he fell asleep with it laying open on his chest.


	3. Chapter 3

A knock at his door wakes Kurt up. It opened before he could sit up or call out. It was Finn, but at least he knocked this time. He was learning. There might be hope for him yet.

He came in and set a dark plastic shopping bag at the foot of Kurt's bed. “Don't freak out, but I got you something. It might help. Just please think about it before you yell at me.” 

Now Kurt was confused. He didn't know what Finn was talking about. Kurt loved presents, and Finn knew that. 

Why would he freak out?

Kurt looked in the bag, and immediately wished he hadn't. Finn had gone out to the pharmacy while he was sleeping and brought back adult diapers in Kurt's size. Kurt felt betrayed. Finn hadn't changed. Kurt knew people like him couldn't change. All those things he had said in the kitchen earlier about caring were lies. They had to be. Why else would he try to humiliate Kurt like this?

Kurt couldn't raise his voice to say anything to Finn, let alone yell at him like he wanted to. He had been stupid enough to believe Finn cared, and now he was mocking him. His eyes burned, his throat closed up, and Kurt could feel tears sliding down his face. He kicked the bag off his bed and curled up in a ball.

He wanted to die.

“Get out.” Kurt choked on the words, not sure if he said them loud enough for Finn to have heard. 

“Kurt, no. Hear me out, okay? Please? It's not what you think. I'm trying to help. Talk to me, please.” Kurt felt Finn's hand on his shoulder and flinched. “Give me a chance?”

Kurt could hear something in the tone of Finn's voice. Love? Compassion? Care? He didn't know what it was. Some emotion he couldn't put a name to, and it hit him. Finn, in his own weird little way, actually _was_ trying to help. 

Kurt wiped the tears from his eyes and calmly spoke to him. “Thank you, but I'm not a baby, and I will not be wearing them. I don't need to. Today was a one time occurrence, one that no one will ever know about because I will murder you in your sleep if you tell anyone, and it will not happen again.” God, Kurt hoped it didn't happen again. He didn't think he could handle that. Once was an accident, the result of a bunch of random events aligning perfectly. A fluke. Twice is, well, he hoped he never had to face that. Finn stood up and walked out, leaving the bag of diapers on the floor where Kurt had kicked them. 

Kurt looked at the clock. It was still somewhat early in the evening, but dark outside. Screw homework. He turned the light out, rolled over, and went to sleep, skipping his moisturizing routine and not caring in the least.


	4. Chapter 4

Friday

The next day at school, Kurt was sitting in his last class of the day, staring at the clock and willing time to move faster. He knew he wasn't the only one. It was Friday, and everyone wanted their weekend to start. Kurt just want to go home so he could pee.

Wes had called another emergency Warbler's meeting at lunch. Thankfully, Kurt was able to sneak away during an argument about choreography between Jeff and Thad to use the restroom. They didn't even notice he was gone. 

Kurt continued to drink from his water bottle. The memory of the day before was still strong in his mind but he figured he would be safe. He had gone at lunch, unlike last time, so he wouldn't have to hold as long. He hadn't factored in that his bladder would still be tired and sore.

He made it out of class and to the bus without any issues, and finally made it home. He was desperate as he ran to the bathroom, tossing his bag aside like he had the day before, but at least this time he managed to make it to the toilet with dry clothes. He was actually kind of proud of himself, but his bladder still felt really weak. 

Kurt stepped out of the bathroom and Finn was standing in the same place he was the day before, holding Kurt's messenger bag out to him. 

“Close call dude?” Finn asked, looking at Kurt funny. 

“What? Oh. Yeah, kind of. Are you stalking me now?” Kurt took his bag and started walking to his room.

“Why didn't you just wear them?” Finn asked. It took Kurt a second to realize what he was referring to.

“Because I'm not two years old. I don't need them. Anyways, change of subject. It's my turn to make dinner. Any idea what you want to eat?” Kurt didn't want to talk about diapers with Finn. He just didn't. It felt wrong.

Kurt went into the kitchen, made a turkey meatloaf, and threw it in the oven to cook. He told Finn what time it would be done, and that it's his job to pull it out and eat when he's ready. Finn said he had homework to catch up on, and he wanted to get it done while he was still in school-mode, so he could relax over the weekend.

Kurt studied for a few hours, trying to catch up on his reading, and working to make sense of the lessons from the day before. He hadn't been paying too much attention to them then, and it was biting him in the ass now.

Kurt was just finishing up an essay when his stomach let out a loud rumble, distracting him. He needed to get his work done, so he told it to shut up, he was busy. He realized he hadn't eaten anything since the celery and peanut butter yesterday, but he was almost finished with his work. He could eat after. 

“It's not healthy to keep skipping meals you know. Especially when you're as skinny as you are.” Finn's voice came from right behind him, and he almost jumped out of his seat. Kurt hadn't heard him come in. “Seriously. You'll get malnourished and stuff. They told us so in health class once. Come eat.”

“I'll be down in a few minutes, I'm almost finished. I'm fine. And I'm not too skinny. I know I'm not fat, but missing a meal or two isn't going to kill me.” It was all Kurt could do not to tell him to shut up and mind his own damn business. His weight was kind of a sensitive topic that he had no desire to discuss, with him or anyone else. 

He and Rachel had already had the whole _'Kurt, you're too skinny for your own good and I think you might be anorexic because you never eat anything and I'm not going to leave you alone about it until I see you eat this Snickers bar I brought you because I'm worried about you and I'm such a nosy little shit that can't mind her own business'_ conversation a few months ago. Let's just say it didn't end well, and they didn't speak to each other for two and a half weeks afterwords.

Kurt finished his homework and went downstairs to eat. Finn burnt the meatloaf, but it was still edible. The rest of the evening was uneventful, with the exception of Kurt running to the toilet more often than usual. He was so happy he didn't have classes the next day.


	5. Chapter 5

Saturday

The next morning Kurt woke to a quiet house. He was hungry, and wanted breakfast. He went to the kitchen, hoping to find something good before Finn woke up and started eating everything in sight.

When Kurt walked in, he found that he was too late. Finn was already there, with various food items strung from one end of the counter to the other, making something that looked like it might have been a sandwich at one point. Now it looked like the fridge threw up on a couple of Kaiser rolls. Kurt cleared his throat and Finn turned around. 

“Where are our parents?” If Finn was fending for himself, odds were good that they were nowhere close.

“Dayton.” He answered, slathering a roll disgustingly thick with mayo. Kurt fights the urge to gag. He didn't know how anyone could eat the stuff. “You know Mr. Warner's old Ford Escort at the shop? Burt finally found that part he needs to fix it. Mom went to keep an eye on him and they won't be back until late night.”

“Oh. Alright.” Kurt turned to leave. He didn't want to get between Finn and food, and he needed the bathroom.

“I know where you're going, and I'll tell you right now that it's locked.” 

Kurt turned around. “What's locked?”

“The bathroom.”

Kurt didn't understand. They were the only ones home. Why would it be locked?

“Why?”

“I locked it,” he answered, like it was obvious.

“Why did you lock the bathroom, Finn? Where's the key? I need it.” He was starting to get irritated. 

“I hid the key.”

Kurt was convinced Finn was just doing this to fuck with him, and he was not amused. “Well go find it. I need to get in there.”

“No.”

Wait, what? Kurt just stared at him, confused. 

“I said no,” he repeated.

“I heard you the first time. I'm just trying to figure out what you're playing at here.”

Finn grinned. Kurt was starting to get nervous. He was completely at Finn's mercy, given how much bigger he was than Kurt, and if he didn't want to give up the key, there's nothing Kurt could really do about it. 

“I know what you've been doing to yourself at that school. You said you don't get a bathroom break. Whatever, that's fine. Or it would be, if you were, like, Superman or something. But dude, you had an accident the other day because of it, and almost had another one yesterday. And I noticed how often you were going last night. You almost wore a hole in the carpet going back and forth.” Finn took a deep breath and continued.

“You're my brother now, and I'm going to help you,” Finn explained. “So today, while our parents are gone, you can't use the toilet. It's pretty simple really. You need to get over yourself and just wear the diapers. You keep putting yourself at risk for, like, infections and stuff holding it in like you do. Plus, I know it has to hurt like hell. Seriously, think about it for a minute. What if you had wet yourself at school? In front of someone? Or in front of Blaine? Do you really think you would be able to ever live that down?”

That was a low blow, pulling _him_ into the picture. Finn knew Kurt was in love with Blaine, and was trying to win his heart. It didn't stop Finn from being right though, because the thought of wetting himself in front of Blaine (or anyone else) was pretty much suicide-inducing, but he don't want to wear a diaper. He was almost eighteen. Adult, not an infant. He wasn't interested in Finn's game. Trying to help him or not, it was just too weird.

“Give me the key Finn. Now,” Kurt demanded. 

“Not gonna happen. You have two choices here if you have to pee so bad. Put a diaper on, and actually use it, or you can wet yourself again. And if I were you, I would make my mind up fast, before your body chooses for you. Clock's ticking, dude.” Suddenly, Kurt felt like he was in a horror movie.

“Give me the fucking key, Finn. This is twisted.” He was getting angry, but was trying to keep himself calm. Yelling at Finn didn't usually get you what you want. He pretty much just shut down.

“They aren't that big of a deal, really. Quinn had to wear them while she was pregnant because the baby kept kicking her bladder and making her wet herself. I've even worn them once or twice when we've had to go on an away game. The team bus doesn't exactly have a bathroom, and getting them to stop is like trying to get Coach Sylvester to be nice to people. And I don't like using an empty Gatorade bottle like everyone else does. It kind of freaks me out, having everyone there to watch.” 

“No, Finn.” And also, gross. Way too much information about Quinn. Kurt didn't want to know how he discovered that little tidbit of knowledge. Also, he would never look at Gatorade the same way again.

“If you put the diaper on, I'll buy you that studded belt you wanted from that weird goth store you and Tina both like.” He grinned at Kurt like the Cheshire cat from 'Alice in Wonderland.'

Kurt was impressed by his tactics. Fashion as a weapon. Finn knew how much Kurt wanted that belt.

_'Wait, I'm not considering his offer, am I?'_ Kurt thought. _'Oh my god. I am. I actually am. If I put one of those diapers on, he'll buy me the belt. He didn't say I actually had to use the damned thing.'_

“Fine.” Anything for fashion. 

Kurt trudged upstairs, ignoring the nagging voice in the back of his head calling him a clothing whore, and put on one of the diapers. It wasn't hard to figure out which way it went and how to do up the tabs. Kurt pulled his sweats back on over it and looked in the mirror. They were loose enough that the diaper didn't show. It wasn't as awkward as he thought it would be, and it was soft and snug in all the right places. Kurt would even go so far as to call it comfortable. 

He had no intentions of actually pissing himself in it.


	6. Chapter 6

Kurt went back downstairs and settled in to watch some television. Finn didn't say anything, just smiled as he sat down opposite Kurt on the couch. Kurt knew he couldn't see the diaper under his clothes, but Finn knew he was wearing it. Kurt's face was a dead giveaway.

Kurt tried to keep an eye on him, hoping that Finn will look off in some random direction one too many times and expose his hiding place to him. It was getting difficult to spy on him without giving himself away. Kurt can feel himself getting more and more desperate, and he was having a hard time sitting still. His legs were crossed tight and his knees were bouncing on their own.

“Kurt, why are you doing this to yourself?” Finn asked. “You're wearing it, right? Just let go. That's the point of the whole thing. You gotta stop torturing yourself.”

“No. If you won't tell me where the key is, I'll find it for myself. I've lived with you long enough to know you have a 'tell', everyone does,” Kurt countered. “I figure it out, get the key, and we can be done with your little trip to Insanity-ville. And we will never speak of this again.” 

Eventually the cartoons they were watching ended, and another show came on. Kurt still hadn't figured out where the key was, and he was running out of time. Very quickly.

“Finn, please tell me where the key is.” He was not too proud to beg. “Don't make me do this.” He could feel tears in his eyes, and he wasn't sure if they were from the physical pain of holding on, or from the humiliation of feeling his dick start to leak.

“Just let go, Kurt. It's for your own good. You'll feel better afterwords. I'll even change you afterwords, so you don't have to deal with it,” Finn offered. “Relax.”

“No.” He whimpered.

A few more minutes went by, and he could no longer make out Bugs Bunny on the television through his tears. He moved both hands to wipe his eyes and cover his face. He curled up on his end of the couch and tried to wish himself anywhere else.

In doing so, he took his eyes off of his step-brother, who seized his moment of opportunity to strike. 

One minute, he was on the other side of the couch. The next, he was dragging Kurt over to him while tickling his sides. Kurt tried to fight him off, but the shock was too much. Kurt buried his face in his hands and cried into Finn's chest as he finally gave in and let go.

Kurt didn't register being picked up until he was lying down on a towel laid out on Finn's bed. It took him a minute to realize what was going on, to notice what else was on the bed. Finn had obviously planned this ahead of time, because near his head was a small stack of clean diapers and some baby wipes, a bottle of baby powder, and a small plush black and white rabbit, with the tags still attached to one floppy ear. Kurt saw it, and his heart sank. He remembered that rabbit. Finn brought it with him to school in his backpack, intent on giving it to Quinn for the baby. The same day Rachel told him the baby wasn't his.

Kurt couldn't bring himself to make eye contact with Finn as he changed him out of the wet diaper, cleaning him up with the baby wipes. Kurt let him do it without a fight. He felt completely worn out, and emotionally drained. He said nothing as Finn powdered his skin, fastened him into a new diaper and pulled sweats back up. He disappeared for a minute to throw the mess away, before he came back and settled next to Kurt on the bed.

Finn tugged Kurt in close, whispering encouragements in his ear, and Kurt moved up onto his chest, not bothering to hide the fact that he had his thumb in his mouth. It was a nervous habit that he never really grew out of. Not even his dad knew he still did it and he hid it well from everyone. Given that he had just wet a diaper like an infant and Finn had changed it, embarrassment from being seen sucking his thumb was the least of his worries. He didn't care. It calmed him down and made him feel a little better. For once, he felt somewhat safe with someone other than his dad holding him. It didn't take long for him to fall asleep like that, curled up in Finn's arms.


	7. Chapter 7

When Kurt woke up, he found himself sucking on a bottle that Finn was holding up, the taste of chocolate milk on his tongue. Kurt panicked. He jumped up, moving away from Finn and off the bed, knocking the bottle to the floor as he moved.

“What do you think you're you doing?” Kurt yelled at him, more in shock than in anger. “I thought we covered this already! I'm not a baby! What is...what the hell is wrong with you?” Finn wouldn't look at Kurt. He just stared at the bottle, where it was dripping and staining the carpet. He didn't say anything.

They stayed there in silence for a few minutes before Kurt spoke.

“Finn, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. I know you're just trying to be nice to me. But why a baby bottle? And chocolate milk, of all things? When do you ever see me drink that?”

Finn kept his head down as he answered his brother. “You slept through lunch. I didn't want to wake you up, because you looked way too comfortable all snuggled up on my pillow sucking your thumb. You've lost weight since you started at Dalton, and if I can see it, it has to be quite a bit, so I know you aren't eating as much as you should be. I don't want you getting sick or something. I figured if you suck you thumb in your sleep, you'd probably suck a bottle too. And it's not chocolate milk, it's that Ensure stuff my mom drinks before work. It's got a bunch of vitamins in it and stuff, so it's good for you. And the bottle's never been used before, so it's clean.”

Kurt picked up the bottle and sat down next to Finn on the bed. “I'm sorry I freaked. This is all just kind of strange to me, you know? I don't know of any other teenagers who sleep better sucking on a baby bottle. No matter how much they need the extra sleep.”

“Is school really that bad?” Finn asked, looking up at Kurt.

He sighed. “It's not bad. It's different. I have a lot more homework, the material is more difficult, the Warblers are freaking out about sectionals, and I miss you guys at McKinley. So yeah, it's stressful. I don't sleep very well when I get stressed out. Hence, the thumb sucking. It calms me down.” 

Finn stared at his closet for a minute before going to it and pulling out a shoe box. “Okay, I get that a bottle isn't something you can always have because the sugar is bad for your teeth or something, and feel free to say no to this, but what about a pacifier or something?” He opened the box and pulled out a few different kinds, still in the packaging. “It's not like anyone would know.”

Kurt didn't tell him that he'd already thought of that. He wanted one to try, but the thought of going out and actually buying one in public was just a bit out there for him, considering he knew almost nothing about them. What if someone he knew saw him? What if someone saw him and told his dad? Quinn had already given up her daughter, and Kurt didn't know anyone else who was pregnant or had a baby. He had no cover story, and the risks were too great.

“It makes sense. Besides, I'm tired of waking up with my thumb all pruned up. It's kind of gross.” He picked up a package with a blue and green pacifier inside. It was the only one with a clear silicone bit instead of brown rubber. Kurt thanked him, and put the others back into the box before Finn returned it to his closet. 

“Listen Finn. The pacifier and the bottle are good ideas. I appreciate the thought, and it's nice to know you care about me. But I would really like for you to unlock the bathroom now.” 

“I can't do that, Kurt.” He leaned his head on the door of his closet with his back to Kurt and sighed. “You haven't learned yet. I told you it was going to stay locked while our parents are gone, and I meant it.”

“But Finn-”

“Save it, Kurt. No bathroom. You have a diaper. Use it. I'll change you, just like last time.”

Kurt didn't say anything else to him as he stood up, leaving the empty bottle and pacifier behind. He went to the living room, curled back up on the couch, and turned on the television. He didn't want to fight with Finn anymore. 

Kurt knew Finn was just trying to take care of him, but it made him uneasy. He felt like Finn was taking his control, something he needed, away from him, whether Finn realized it or not. Since his mom died, Kurt had always been the one in control. He was the caretaker. He cooked for his dad and himself. He did all their laundry. He took care of the household shopping once he had his driver's license. He was the one who kept track of doctor's appointments and parent-teacher conferences. Kurt hadn't been comforted and taken care of like Finn was trying to do for him in eight years.

A few minutes later, Finn came into the room and sat down on the other end of the couch. He didn't say anything as he handed Kurt the pacifier he'd left in his room. Finn had taken it out of the package and run a narrow ribbon through the ring, turning it into a necklace. Kurt took it and thanked him as he hung it around his neck.

It didn't take long for Kurt's bladder to make itself known again. It still felt weak and sore, so he didn't bother trying to fight the urge; he just gave in. He figured if Finn had to keep changing wet diapers, he would be grossed out enough eventually to be done with this crazy idea. 

Kurt took a deep breath and sighed before looking over at his brother. “I'm wet now. I hope you're happy. And I expect you to make good on your promises. All of them.”

Kurt was not expecting the smile on Finn's face when he told him. Before Kurt could stand, Finn was picking him up and carrying him to his room, whispering encouragements like last time. Kurt felt less embarrassed than he had that morning, and when Finn laid him down on the bed, he didn't try to hide his face.

Finn had the supplies all laid out like last time, including the little black and white rabbit. Kurt picked it up and ran his fingers over its velvety ears as Finn changed him. Kurt brought it close to his face and nuzzled it under his cheek. It was really soft, and it reminded Kurt of the stuffed bear he used to drag around everywhere when he was little. He heard Finn chuckle from above him as he finished with the diaper and watched. Then Kurt remembered why he had the toy. Kurt quickly pulled it away, flushing red and muttering “Sorry.”

“You don't have to apologize. You can keep it, if you want.”

“I can't do that. You bought it to give to your baby. You should hang on to it for when you actually have kids someday,” Kurt answered.

“I bought this stuff for someone I loved, who I wanted to take care of. So that it would bring some comfort, you know? So that didn't turn out to be Beth. I choose to give it to you, someone I love and want to take care of.” He looked away for a second. “If you're willing to let me.”

Kurt didn't know what to say to that, so he just quietly said, “Thank you.”


	8. Chapter 8

After, they curled up together on the couch and watched some random cartoons. They stayed that way until around three that afternoon, when Kurt's empty stomach started making itself known. Finn heard it, and stood up without saying a word. Kurt watched him go into the kitchen and a few minutes later, he came back with a bottle of chocolate drink in his hand.

Kurt snuggled up to him when he sat down and Finn held the bottle as Kurt drank from it. Kurt tried not to think too much about it. He wasn't sure, but he thought Finn's need to take care of him like this had something to do with Quinn telling him he was going to be a father, and then yanking that away from him. Finn was crushed at the time, and Kurt noticed that whenever someone brought the subject of babies up, he got this weird look in his eye, like someone's just kicked a puppy in front of him. Kurt didn't have the heart to fight him anymore. Besides, it felt really nice to be held. He finished the bottle, and before he even realized he was tired, he fell asleep.

Kurt woke up a short time later, still in Finn's lap. As he moved to stand up and stretch, he felt the diaper shift, cold and damp against his skin. It took him a second to realize what happened, and when he did, his eyes began to water in frustration.

Finn stuck the pacifier in Kurt's mouth and rubbed his back to try and calm him down, telling him that everything was okay. Finn easily figured it out, and took Kurt to be changed without asking. 

Once Kurt calmed back down, they spent the rest of the day watching movies. When Kurt got thirsty, Finn would bring him water to drink while he held the bottle. It took some doing, but Kurt managed to convince Finn that every bottle didn't need to be full of that chocolate stuff. Kurt was glad Finn listened, because he wasn't sure if he could have stomached much more of that.

Finn changed Kurt's diaper when he needed it. Kurt was able to convince him to unlock the bathroom door so that he could shower before bed. He was a bit nervous that Finn would want watch him, or try to bathe him like an infant, but he gave Kurt privacy and left him alone. He stayed in the shower until the water ran cold.

Kurt thought Finn might be getting over the whole game once he made it through his shower uninterrupted, but Kurt found him sitting on his bed with a fresh diaper in his hand once Kurt got to his room.

“Still, Finn?” He rolled his eyes. “We're really going to do this?” Kurt couldn't help but giggle a bit at the ridiculousness of the situation as he pulled out his favorite pair of pajamas. They weren't anything special, but they were comfortable.

“Yes. All weekend, remember?” Finn answered. 

“I remember.” Kurt answered as he hung his wet towel on the hook on the back of the door. He turned and laid down on top of the bed. 

He was completely naked, but Finn didn't flinch. He put the fresh diaper on Kurt and did up the tabs. He even fumbled his way through helping Kurt put on his pajamas. Kurt found it funny watching him try to do up the tiny buttons, and he tried to put Kurt's head through a sleeve twice, but Kurt let him. Finn pulled the covers back for him and Kurt slid between the sheets. Finn pulled Kurt's pacifier out of his pocket and set it on the side table. “Just in case you want it later.” He turned the light out and left as Kurt rolled over and went to sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

Kurt woke up the next morning soaking wet. It might have been what woke him, because the diaper was still warm, and even though he usually woke up bursting, he didn't feel any urge to go. He carefully climbed out of bed and checked the sheets. Thankfully, they were dry. He removed his pajamas and peeled off the saturated diaper, tossed it into the wastebasket and flinched when he heard the squelch it made when it hit the bottom of the bin. He cleaned himself up as best he could and went to go find some breakfast.

When he got to the kitchen, he found Finn standing over the stove, singing quietly to himself and cooking what looked like scrambled eggs. The toaster popped up as Kurt walked into the room.

After they'd eaten, Kurt led Finn feed him apple juice from a bottle while they curled up on the couch watching TV

The rest of Sunday goes by pretty much the same way Saturday had. They watch TV, sprawl out on the couch, do their homework, and Finn changes Kurt when he wets. They didn't argue about unlocking the bathroom anymore.

When they got a call that their parents were going to be home soon, they went upstairs together. 

“Do you want to leave it on for the rest of the night? I don't think I'll be able to change it for you if they're home. They'd catch us, and I'd rather not let them know.” Finn asked, gathering up and handing him the rest of the pack of diapers and wipes. Kurt nodded and took the bag, noticing a little fluffy bunny ear hanging over the edge. 

“I'll be fine. Go unlock the bathroom.” Kurt said. Finn left.

Kurt changed his clothes, leaving on the dry diaper but putting away the diaper bag deep in the back of his closet under some clothes that he'd outgrown. He stuffed the pacifier into his pocket. They don't bring it up again. Once their parents were home, it was like the activities of the weekend hadn't happened. Finn didn't bring it up the rest of the evening.

Kurt was somewhat nervous about school in the morning as he climbed into bed that night. He didn't know if he could handle another day at Dalton, holding his bladder and crossing his fingers as tight as his legs. Kurt fell asleep that night with the pacifier in his mouth and had the best nights sleep he'd had in months.


	10. Chapter 10

Kurt is sitting in his last class of the day. He had about 20 minutes left to go before the bell, and he needed to pee. He'd gone during lunch, skipped the water bottle for the day, and hadn't had anything to drink since breakfast. It hadn't mattered, because once again, he was squirming in his seat with his legs crossed. He had finally relented and worn one of Finn's diapers to school. So far, it had stayed dry. 

He'd surprised himself that morning at home, when he had tried it on under his uniform. No one would ever know it was there. There was no bulging and no crinkling noise when he moved. He even did a bit of choreography in front of his mirror just to be sure it wasn't noticeable. The last thing he wanted was for someone to see it. For his dad to see it, or the Warblers. Or _Blaine._

He couldn't believe he had worn it to school. 

He could still barely believe it as he deliberately let out the tiniest of leaks into it. 

He continued to listen to his history teacher drone on, watching the clock and letting out tiny little spurts, stopping as soon as they started, every couple of minutes or so. He could feel it soaking in to the fabric of the diaper, warm and snug against his cock. It felt good. It felt wrong, like he was doing something he shouldn't be, with all of these people in the room with him, but no one knew. It felt naughty, and he filed that thought away for when he was alone. It was almost too good, getting away with it, and the last thing he needed was to get hard.

Class finally ended, and while he still needed to empty his bladder desperately, he held out until he was on his bus and headed home. As the bus traveled over pot holes and speed bumps and cracks in the street, he let more out. When the bus dropped him off at his home, he was wet, and still letting out small leaks as he walked to his front door. 

There were no cars in the driveway, and he knew Finn was home already. He unlocked the front door and went inside. Finn was sitting on the couch watching some old action movie on the television. He looked up as Kurt as he walked in, and Kurt smiled at him, letting go completely and releasing what was left of his bladder into his diaper.

Finn tipped his head, silently asking Kurt the question he didn't want to voice for fear of making Kurt upset. Kurt nodded his head yes, and Finn smiled back. They walked together to Kurt's room and Finn changed him.

Instead of kicking Finn back out of his room, Kurt hugged him, thanking him for being a good brother and caring about him. Finn picked up the pacifier off of Kurt's nightstand and popped it into his mouth, shushing him. He picked up the bunny out of the diaper bag and pulled Kurt close to him.

Their parents weren't due home for another two hours, so Kurt set an alarm on his phone and they curled up together in his bed. They slept with Kurt wearing the fresh diaper under his clothes, laying on Finn's chest, listening to the sound of his heart beating, and Finn whispering in his brother's ear, with the pacifier in Kurt's mouth and the little black and white bunny tucked under his chin.


End file.
